September Morn' - Neil Diamond

Artist: Neil Diamond
Song: September Morn'
Year: 1980
Album: September Morn'

It seems that when I was a kid, Neil Diamond was everywhere. I saw him on television. I heard him on the radio. I read about him in magazines and the newspaper. He was everywhere. Looking back on that time, it makes perfect sense. Neil Diamond was a hit machine in the late seventies and early eighties. That period has to be his most successful time.

I'm not dismissing other periods in his career. Neil has been able to squeeze out a hit in every decade since he became a solo artist. The time around the September Morn' album was his best. He had just come off of a duet with Barbara Streisand and was about to star in the remake of the Jazz Singer.

While the movie was less than perfect, the songs were fantastic. Neil would even follow that movie with a hit song that he wrote about E.T. If that was not his best period ever, I don't know what would be. This song was the bridge between his successful seventies career and his hot streak in the early eighties.

"September Morn'" is a love song, on the surface. I can feel the pain and anguish in the lyrics and the lovelorn tone of Neil's voice. Was this a practice album to ease the jarring compositions of the Jazz Singer soundtrack? Maybe. 1980 was about pleasing the masses and I think this was the start of that. It's an enduring song that still tugs at you.

Lyrics:
Stay for just a while
Stay, and let me look at you
It's been so long, I hardly knew you
Standing in the door
Stay with me a while
I only wanna talk to you
We've traveled halfway 'round the world
To find ourselves again

September morn
We danced until the night became a brand new day
Two lovers playing scenes from some romantic play
September morning still can make me feel that way

Look at what you've done
Why, you've become a grown-up girl
I still can hear you crying
In a corner of your room
And look how far we've come
So far from where we used to be
But not so far that we've forgotten
How it was before

September morn
Do you remember how we danced that night away
Two lovers playing scenes from some romantic play
September morning still can make me feel that way

The I-95 Asshole Song - August & The Spur Of The Moment Band

Artist: August & The Spur Of The Moment Band
Song: The I-95 Song
Year: 1983
Album: Lost Horizons single

Contrary to popular belief, this is not Jimmy Buffett. This is also not a whole slew of other artists that have been falsely identified with this song. The song was written and released by Fred "August" Campbell.

In the eighties, this was a popular song on the radio. I can remember a few stations playing it back then, usually for kicks. The song was written after someone cut off the singer in traffic. If that would have never happened, we would have been without this classic.

One of my friends has been playing this song to me for the last twenty years. It's got a catchy beat and catchy lyrics. I may not laugh every time, but there's always a smile on my face after hearing this.

I couldn't find much information on the song itself, but I finally found the original release. It was a b side to a single in 1983. If there is an earlier record of this song, I'm not aware of it. The song has seen its share of odd releases, which only adds to the confusion of finding the original release. All I know is that when someone cuts me off in traffic, I smile and think of this song. It works every time.

Lyrics:
Well I was drivin' down I-95 the other night.
Somebody nearly cut me right off the road.
I decided it wasn't gonna do any good to get mad.
So I wrote a song about him instead.
It goes like this...

Were you born an asshole?
Or did you work at it your whole life?
Either way it worked out fine
'cause you're an asshole tonight.

Yes you're an A S S H O L E...
And don't you try to blame it on me.
You deserve all the credit.
You're an asshole tonight.

You were an asshole yesterday.
You're an asshole tonight.
And I've got a feelin'
you'll be an asshole the rest of your life.

And I was talkin' to your mother
just the other night.
I told her I thought you were an asshole.
She said, "Yes. I think you're right."

And all your friends are assholes
'cause you've known them your whole life.
And somebody told me
you've got an asshole for a wife.

Were you born an asshole?
Or did you work at it your whole life?
Either way it worked out fine
'cause you're an aaaass...hole tonight.

Suffocate Me - Angelfish

Artist: Angelfish
Song: Suffocate Me
Year: 1994
Album: Angelfish

The world of music is funny. If it wasn't for this video, the band Garbage would not exist as we know it. Because this video caught the eye of a producer, Shirley Manson was asked to join Garbage.

Angelfish broke up because of Shirley Manson's departure, and Shirley went on to great success with Garbage. The rest of Angelfish stayed together and eventually formed Isa and the Filthy Tongues, which released an album in 2006. I often wonder if Angelfish would have taken off if Shirley had stayed.

I can remember watching this video on 120 Minutes. It may be the exact same airing that Butch Vig's producer friend was watching. The two bands sound radically different. Maybe that's a good thing. Although, Garbage has been known to sneak this song into some of their sets.

Chalk this one to being buried in the oddities of rock. The song has an L7 quality to it. The only thing that makes it an Angelfish track would be the vocal stylings of Shirley Manson. Donita Sparks had an unmistakable voice and Shirley Manson definitely does not have that voice.

Lyrics:
Suffocate me with kisses baby
Suffocate me with burning love
Suffocate me put your chains around me
Suffocate me, I'm a thirsty dog
Suffocate me with conversation
Suffocate me with unsaid words
Suffocate me with indecision
Suffocate me with who comes first
I love you, you're so religious
I get a thrill when the curtain calls
I feel like a roman candle
Do your stuff while the empire falls
Falls
Suffocate me
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
You know I do
Suffocate me
Suffocate me
Suffocate me
Suffocate me (kisses baby)
Suffocate me (burning love)
Suffocate me (kisses baby)
Suffocate me (burning love)
Suffocate me (kisses baby)
Suffocate me (burning love)
Suffocate me (kisses baby)
Suffocate me (burning love)
Suffocate me

Thanksgiving Song - Adam Sandler

Artist: Adam Sandler
Song: Thanksgiving Song
Year: 1993
Album: They're All Gonna Laugh At You!

When I was younger, I used to watch everything that Adam Sandler did. From television to movies and other assorted appearances, Adam seemed to be everywhere at once. One thing I loved was his songs on Weekend Update. I would get a big kick out of them. Some cast members ended up resenting Adam for stealing air time. I don't say I could blame them. I'd be pissed too if one of my sketches was cut at the last minute for some stupid song that was made up on the spot.

If you really think about it, most of Adam Sandler's song were so stupid that a one year old chimpanzee could have written them. That doesn't mean that they lack charm. I think it was the charm of Adam Sandler that sold these songs. I can't imagine Denis Leary singing this stuff. There was something about Adam's stage persona that made you believe that he was like this all the time.

I'm glad that he's branching out in his movie roles. He can't play the buffoon forever. Adam just passed forty a few years ago. It's time to settle down for more serious roles. The comedy can still be there, just not the frat boy type of humor that originally made him a star.

For years, I used to play this song on Thanksgiving. That tradition has waned in recent years, but I still play it if I remember. It's not a requirement anymore. I've moved on. I've matured. That doesn't mean that I can't go back, now and then. It just means that I won't be blasting this at 9:30 in the morning to amuse my co-workers anymore.

Lyrics:
"They wanna hear the thanksgiving song! All right.."
"This is uhh, This is the Thanksgiving Song"
"I hope you enjoy it."

Love to eat turkey
Love to eat turkey

Shout from Crowd: "I love you Adam!"
Adam Sandler: "Ohhh, I love you!"
Love to eat turkey
'Cause it's good
Love to eat turkey
Like a good boy should
'Cause it's turkey to eat
So good

Adam Sandler: "That clappin's messing my head up man. I appreciate it. But I was trying to think of the next line and all I hear is clapping. Here we go... Thanks anyways"

Turkey for me
Turkey for you
Let's eat the turkey
In my big brown shoe
Love to eat the turkey
At the table
I once saw a movie
With Betty Grable
Eat that turkey
All night long
Fifty million Elvis fans
Can't be wrong
Turkey lurkey doo and
Turkey lurkey dap
I eat that turkey
Then I take a nap

Thanksgiving is a special night
Jimmy Walker used to say Dynomite
That's right
Turkey with gravy and cranberry
Can't believe the Mets traded Darryl Strawberry
Turkey for you and
Turkey for me
Can't believe Tyson
Gave that girl V.D.

White meat, dark meat
You just can't lose
I fell off my moped
And I got a bruise
Turkey in the oven
And the buns in the toaster
I'll never take down
My Cheryl Tiegs poster
Wrap the turkey up
In aluminum foil
My brother likes to masturbate
With baby oil
Turkey and sweet potato pie
Sammy Davis Jr.
Only had one eye

Turkey for the girls and
Turkey for the boys
My favorite kind of pants
Are corduroys
Gobble gobble goo and
Gobble gobble gickel
I wish turkey
Only cost a nickel
Oh I love turkey on Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving everybody!

Man On The Moon - R.E.M.

Artist: R.E.M.
Song: Man On The Moon
Year: 1992
Album: Automatic For The People

I was (and still am) a huge Andy Kaufman fan. My first memories of Andy came from the sitcom Taxi and his various appearances on Saturday Night Live. I adored his foreign man routine. It wasn't until much later that I began to see other things that Andy had accomplished in his short life. I say short life because I don't buy into the conspiracy that he faked his own death for the ultimate joke.

I had always liked the song "Man On The Moon", but it wasn't until a few years after its release that I connected it with Andy Kaufman. For whatever reason, I glossed over the obvious references and just enjoyed the song. When I did finally connect the dots, it hit me like a ton of bricks. The title of the song is a reference to the conspiracy theory that the American moon landing was faked. I find hilarious that a reference that had nothing to do with Andy became the title of his biography movie.

Despite the Andy Kaufman connection and the other obscure references scattered throughout, the song is an amazing work. It was one of the many songs on the album that I was instantly drawn to upon release. There are many wonderful classic songs on the album, but none hold a greater affection for the absurd than this song does.

At the karaoke bar that I occasionally go to, "Man On The Moon" is a gigantic hit. Many people get up and sing it in their own unique way. All of the versions are decent, surprisingly. It just stands as a testament to the music of R.E.M. and the mystique of Andy Kaufman working hand in hand.

Lyrics:
Mott the Hoople and the game of Life. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Andy Kaufman in the wrestling match. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Monopoly, Twenty one, checkers, and chess. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mister Fred Blassie in a breakfast mess. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Let's play Twister, let's play Risk. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
See you heaven if you make the list. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hey, Andy did you hear about this one? Tell me, are you locked in the punch?
Hey Andy are you goofing on Elvis? Hey, baby. Are we losing touch?
If you believed they put a man on the moon, man on the moon.
If you believe there's nothing up my sleeve, then nothing is cool.

Moses went walking with the staff of wood. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Newton got beaned by the apple good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Egypt was troubled by the horrible asp. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mister Charles Darwin had the gall to ask. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hey Andy did you hear about this one? Tell me, are you locked in the punch?
Hey, Andy are you goofing on Elvis? Hey, baby. Are you having fun?
If you believed they put a man on the moon, man on the moon.
If you believe there's nothing up my sleeve, then nothing is cool.

Here's a little agit for the never-believer. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Here's a little ghost for the offering. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Here's a truck stop instead of Saint Peter's. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mister Andy Kaufman's gone wrestling [wrestling bears]. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hey Andy did you hear about this one? Tell me, are you locked in the punch?
Hey Andy are you goofing on Elvis, hey baby, are we losing touch?
If you believed they put a man on the moon, man on the moon.
If you believe there's nothing up my sleeve, then nothing is cool.

This Here Giraffe - Flaming Lips

Artist: Flaming Lips
Song: This Here Giraffe
Year: 1995
Album: Clouds Taste Metallic

I saw the Flaming Lips at Lollapalooza in 1994, during their bubble machine phase. I was already a fan from their quirky hit "She Don't Use Jelly" and various appearances on odd television shows. That second stage show made me a believer. I was entranced by the band's earlier songs and I made it my goal to track down as much of their music as I possibly could.

The build up, for me anyway, to Clouds Taste Metallic was enormous. They had a song in the new Batman movie, which was on the album. Expectations were high. Then they all came crashing down. I'm not sure what the public expected from a quirky band, but this record wasn't it.

I was even disappointed with this album, when it initially came out. It lacked the style and familiarity of Transmissions From The Satellite Heart. Again, that was my first impression. After listening to Clouds Taste Metallic at various points over the years, I began to appreciate the subtleties of the album.

I began to move away from thinking of the album as "Bad Days" and a bunch of other songs to an album filled with solid material. "This Here Giraffe" is one of the songs that I couldn't wrap my brain around at the time. It's a song that slowly grows on you. After hearing the song a few times, you will find that the melody will seep into your brain at odd times. This seems like the sort of thing that the Flaming Lips would want.

Lyrics:
I saw this bird fly off his head
Without him ever lookin' up
This here giraffe was never caught complainin'
He wouldn't take skin off your back

And you hear yourself, thinking
And you hear yourself, thinking
This here giraffe, laughed
This here giraffe, laughed
This here giraffe, laughed

I saw this man stick out his neck
With his binoculars intact
He couldn't tell the right side of his brain
Just lost all interest in his left

And you feel yourself shrinkin'
And you feel yourself shrinkin'
This here giraffe, laughed
This here giraffe, laughed
This here giraffe, laughed

And you hear yourself
And you hear yourself
This here giraffe, laughed
This here giraffe, laughed
This here giraffe, laughed
This here giraffe, laughed

Old Timer - that dog.

Artist: that dog.
Song: Old Timer
Year: 1994
Album: that dog.

Don't worry Anne Waronker. All that touring paid off. I saw that dog. open up for the Foo Fighters on March 29, 1996 in Chicago. I was captivated enough by your set that I sought out all of the group's music. I thought the harmonies and Petra's violin mixed with punk was an awesome mixture.

"Old Timer" had me mesmerized when I saw it live. The rest of the set was fantastic. The whole reason that I bought the ticket was to see Dave Grohl perform, but I came away with so much more. I became a fan of that dog. and the Amps that night. I had a predisposition to like the Amps because of Kim Deal. Seeing that dog. was the highlight of that concert.

The crowd seemed to be into it as well. I guess that most of the audience didn't go out and run to the record store the next day. Maybe they did, but I'm guessing not. I was thrilled to see a new album in 1997. Then I was filled with sorrow when I heard about the band's dissolvement.

Is it too much to ask for a that dog. reunion? I would pay to see that! I won't hold my breath, but I can sleep better at night knowing that I got to see that dog. in concert when I had the chance. Thanks for the great music!

Lyrics:
Hey old timer, can I ask you a question
While you're standing at the buffet?
Is this your first or second helping?
Why'd you come here anyway?

Hey old timer, why ya drinkin' the wine at Shakeys?
Hey old timer, I can tell your feet get achey.

Was it the food or the special that got you?
Did you cut your coupons in the Sunday Times?
You got your chili, don't forget your cornbread.
I can tell you come here all the time.

Did your friends say they couldn't make it?
Did you come here all alone?
Two-for-one's a stretch, you'll have to fake it.
Maybe we can share, I'm on my own.

Hey old timer, why ya drinkin' the wine at Shakeys?
Hey old timer, I can tell your feet get achey.
Hey old timer. Hey old timer. Hey old timer.
Hey old timer.

Mr. Brownstone - Guns N' Roses

Artist: Guns N' Roses
Song: Mr. Brownstone
Year: 1987
Album: Appetite For Destruction

This song just shows that Axl doesn't run the whole show. He may now, but he didn't control everything back in the beginning. This song was written by Slash and Izzy Stradlin. Other than singing, Axl Rose has very little to do with this song. Maybe that's why I really like it.

It shows Axl in a lower range, which I think suits him better than blowing his voice out with each note. When I would listen to this album as a kid, I used to think that songs in the lower voice range were sung by another band member. I just couldn't figure out who. I was amazed when I found out it was actually Axl doing the singing.

This is yet another gritty song about drugs. Namely, "Mr. Brownstone" is slang for heroin. It describes the day to day activities of a drug user and the eventual decline of said user. Depending on the point of view, it could glamorize the lifestyle or serve as a cautionary tale.

When you're done with the new album, check out the older stuff. It was much better when the group functioned as a unit and not as the whims of one individual. They don't call the old stuff classic because it's older. They call it classic because it's just that good.

Lyrics:
I get up around seven
Get outta bed around nine
And i don't worry about nothin' no
'cause worrin's a waste of my... time

The show usually starts around seven
We go on stage around nine
Get on the bus about eleven
Sippin' a drink and feelin' fine

We been dancin' with mr. brownstone
He's been knockin'
He won't leave me alone
No, no ,no, he won't leave me alone
I used ta do a little but a little wouldn't do
So the little got more and more
I just keep tryin' ta get a little better
Said the little better than before
I used ta do a little but a little wouldn't do
So the little got more and more
I just keep tryin' ta get a little better
Said the little better than before

We been dancin' with mr. brownstone
He's been knockin'
He won't leave me alone
No, no ,no, he won't leave me alone
I used ta do a little but a little wouldn't do
So the little got more and more
I just keep tryin' ta get a little better
Said the little better than before
I used ta do a little but a little wouldn't do
So the little got more and more
I just keep tryin' ta get a little better
Said the little better than before

Now i get up around whenever
I used ta get up on time
But that old man he's a real muthafucker
Gonna kick him on down the line

I used ta do a little but a little wouldn't do
So the little got more and more
I just keep tryin' ta get a little better
Said the little better than before
I used ta do a little but a little wouldn't do
So the little got more and more
I just keep tryin' ta get a little better
Said the little better than before

We been dancin' with mr. brownstone
He's been knockin'
He won't leave me alone
No, no ,no, he won't leave me alone
I used ta do a little but a little wouldn't do
So the little got more and more
I just keep tryin' ta get a little better
Said the little better than before
I used ta do a little but a little wouldn't do
So the little got more and more
I just keep tryin' ta get a little better
Said the little better than before

Shoved it in the bindle and i shot it in the middle
And it, it drove outta my mind
I should've known better, said i wish i never met her said i,
I leave it all behind yowsa!

Cover Me - Bruce Springsteen

Artist: Bruce Springsteen
Song: Cover Me
Year: 1984
Album: Born In The U.S.A.

BRUUUUUUUCE!!! as my mom would say. I've had a love/hate relationship with Bruce Springsteen. I used to not care for his music, but as I've gotten older, I've learned to appreciate more of it. I downright enjoy it now. This album, I've liked since its release.

What's not to like about this album? I can't think of anything. It's a damn near perfect album. It's something that I could put on and listen to all the way through. It's got everything. Meaningful lyrics. Something to dance to. Something to sing along with. Something to veg to. A great sound. Everything.

"Cover Me" was a struggle to keep on the album. It was never intended to be on this or any other Springsteen album. It was recorded as a demo for Donna Summer and intended to be a disco song. Bruce even recorded a duet with Donna Summer of this song that has yet to see the light of day.

The only thing that saved this song was Springsteen's manager insisting that it be put on the album. He loved the way the rock edge mixed with the song. It was a wise choice and the public is the better for it. This is one reason why I advocate everything from an artist eventually be released. You don't know what wonderful gems are hiding away.

Lyrics:
The times are tough now, just getting tougher
This old world is rough, it's just getting rougher
Cover me, come on baby, cover me
Well I'm looking for a lover who will come on in and cover me
Promise me baby you won't let them find us
Hold me in your arms, let's let our love blind us
Cover me, shut the door and cover me
Well I'm looking for a lover who will come on in and cover me

Outside's the rain, the driving snow
I can hear the wild wind blowing
Turn out the light, bolt the door
I ain't going out there no more

This whole world is out there just trying to score
I've seen enough I don't want to see any more,
Cover me, come on and cover me
I'm looking for a lover who will come on in and cover me
Looking for a lover who will come on in and cover me

Fuel - Metallica

Artist: Metallica
Song: Fuel
Year: 1997
Album: ReLoad

This song was one of the first songs that I heard from ReLoad. I thought that I had first heard it during a 1995 concert recording, but looking over setlists, I cannot find a record of that. It wasn't played at the June 30, 1996 Lollapalooza concert I saw them at or the February 7, 1997 concert I witnessed either.

I'm not sure how I heard this song early, but I did, and I loved it. I thought it had the right edge to be old school Metallica merged with their newer sound. I liked the Load album, but for all the wrong reasons. It didn't sound like Metallica in most places. The ReLoad album was a return to form, but the songs weren't all strong. They were essentially leftovers from Load.

"Fuel" stood out from the rest of the songs. It could be thought of as a death song, but the surface was mostly about fast cars. All I know is that the song rocks. Metallica even performed the song on Saturday Night Live, which was odd to see. Their first single, "The Memory Remains" did not seem like a song Metallica should be singing. Change is fine, but this was another oddity. Metallica seemed to lose their way a bit in the late nineties.

For all the duets with outsider music artists and genre hopping, Metallica couldn't stray far from the speed metal that got them there. This showed me that they still had a pulse. They still could rock and the life had yet to be fully sucked out.

Lyrics:
Gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme that which I desire,
oh

Turn on, I see red
Adrenaline crash and crack my head
Nitro junkie, paint me dead
And I see red

I run across through black and white
War horse, war head, fuck 'em, man
White knuckle tight
Through black and white

Oh, when I burn
Fuel is pumping engines
Burning hard, loose and clean

And then I burn
Turning my direction
Quench my thirst with gasoline

So gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme that which I
desire

Turn on beyond the bone
Swallow future, spit out hope
Burn your face upon the chrome

Take the corner, going to crash
Headlights, headlines
Another junkie, who lives too fast
Lives way too fast, fast, fast, fast, fast, fast

Oh, when I burn
Fuel is pumping engines
Burning hard, loose and clean

And then I burn
Turning my direction
Quench my thirst with gasoline

So gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme that which I
desire

White knuckle tight

Gimme fuel
Gimme fire
My desire

Oh, when I burn
Fuel is pumping engines
Burning hard, loose and clean

And on and on
Turning my direction
Quench my thirst with gasoline

Gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme that which I
desire, oh
On I burn