One More Minute - "Weird Al" Yankovic

Artist: "Weird Al" Yankovic
Song: One More Minute
Year: 1985
Album: Dare To Be Stupid

I've always been a huge fan of Weird Al. I always liked novelty songs and I would spend most Sunday nights listening to Dr. Demento. Sure, it's one thing to like Weird Al's parodies, but it's quite another to like his style parodies and originals. Sometimes they measure up to the parody songs and frequently they surpass them.

This song is an original in the style of doo wop. Supposedly, the song's origins started with a bad breakup. Whatever the origin, this is one of the best songs off of the Dare To Be Stupid album. That is an album that is pretty consistent in quality.

I was fortunate enough to see this song performed live in 1999. While the entire concert was a blast, Al outdid himself and walked into the audience during this song and started to interact with the crowd. It was a huge moment. My date and I had seats along the aisle and Al walked right past us. It was pretty thrilling.

Nothing could match the excitement after the concert though. We got to meet "Weird Al" Yankovic! He was as nice as you would expect him to be. Even though there was a line of people, Al took the time to speak with everyone in the line. Not just hellos and such, but an actual conversation. Ours lasted about 20 minutes! I'm sure I made a complete fool of myself, but that's OK. I got to meet an childhood idol of mine and was able to wrangle plenty of signed stuff.

Lyrics:
Aahh

Well I heard that you're leavin' (leavin')
Gonna leave me far behind (so far behind)
'Cause you found a brand new lover
You decided that I'm not your kind (aahh..)

So I pulled (I pulled) your name out (name out) of my Rolodex (oohh..)
And I tore all your pictures in two
And I burned down the malt shop where we used to go
Just because it reminds me of you (dippity dippity doo)

That's right (that's right) you ain't gonna see me cryin'
I'm glad (I'm glad) that you found somebody new
'Cause I'd rather spend eternity eating shards of broken glass
Than spend one more minute with you

I guess I might seem kinda bitter
You got me feeling down in the dumps
'Cause I'm stranded all alone in the gas station of love
And I have to use the self-service pumps

Oh, so honey, let me help you with that suitcase
You ain't (you ain't) gonna break my heart in two
'Cause I'd rather get a hundred thousand paper cuts on my face
Than spend one more minute with you

I'd rather rip out my intestines with a fork
Than watch you going out with other men
I'd rather slam my fingers in a door (yah)
Again and again and again and again and again

Oh, can't you see what I'm tryin' to say, Darlin...

I'd rather have my blood sucked out by leeches (leeches)
Shove an icepick under a toenail or two
I'd rather clean all the bathroom in Grand Central Station with my tongue
Than spend one more minute with you

Yes, I'd rather jump naked on a huge pile of thumbtacks
Or stick my nostrils together with crazy glue
I'd rather dive into a swimming pool filled with double-edged razor blades
Than spend one more minute with you

I'd rather rip my heart out of my ribcage with my bare hands
and then throw it on the floor and stomp on it 'till I die
Than spend one more minute with you